​You think you own me
Squeezed my life in your palms
Taken over my body
You think you are me
Lupus
You think because
You’ve hijacked this vessel that you’re captain
You think you can get away with mutiny
But see
I’m still the same me
The same beautiful butterfly floating on the breeze
I ain’t scared to wrestle the wind
To battle Raynauds thorns
Not afraid to diss this disease
To find peace
Be at ease with this disease
I miss my old life but I’m fashioning a new one with this disease
In no way am I saying this is easy
The way my cells fight themselves
That my chest being in a cage of pleurisy
That my scalp cries strands of my hair
That the pain in my knees which interfere with my prayers
Make it hard to sometimes find the joy in life
Makes the sun less bright
But I know no matter what
There’s nothing that’ll take away my fight
When it seems to make my day feel like night
I’ll still reach for a star
When it seems my world spins left
I’ve resolved to force it to revolve right
And even if my limbs refuse to move
My spirit will still dance
Every day I’m going to
Choose to enhance this universe with my presence
In any way I can
Lupus is not me
But it’s the spark that created a flame
My disease is not me
But it’s the source of my vanity
Lupus you can’t damage me
Because my body isn’t all I possess
I still have a purpose
A reason to smile
I’m still living my life with no regrets.

Copyright Shanelle Gabriel